Two weeks ago, when I did my 28 miler and didn't have a great run, I just blew it off knowing that bad runs happen. This weekend, I was back home and got in a 30.5 miler on a much hillier path than I'm used to running. I felt awesome for the first 13 miles, then tiredness set in and I just couldn't keep up my pace. The whole time I was falling apart, I kept thinking of a million other things I would rather be doing than suffering through the run. I kept questioning my abilities, my mental strength, and my true desire to run ultras.
What does this mean for my next couple of races? I have my 12 hour race in less than 4 weeks and my 100 miler in less than 10. I'll see how my 12 hour race goes and go from there. I need to realize that it's okay if I don't do well at of my races all the time and that going out there and attempting it is an accomplishment in itself. I hate being such a Debbie Downer, but if I was perky and happy all the time, I wouldn't be an honest person.
Here's to hoping the next few weeks go better than the last and that if I overcome this, it leaves me stronger than before.